Well it is really looking like I’ll be able to go to Peru! I have raised 1700 dollars! I bought my plane ticket on Wednesday, and this time I will be able to fly to and from the trip with my two friends who are going on the trip! I have also gotten in contact with some of my friends that I have made on previous trips, and several of them are coming back to Lima.
Thank you all for your generous support!
-Rob-Bob
P.S Rob-Bob is the nickname that one of my leaders gave me my first year in Peru.
I finally got my letters out, and already the money is starting to come back to me. I have received $75 in just two days! And I am expecting more every day. Thank you all so much for your support!
Dear Friends,
I’m writing to let you know that, God willing, I’ll be returning to Lima, Peru again this summer—my third year in a row! I’ve been accepted to rejoin Focus on the Family’s Brio mission trip and am excited to have the opportunity to, once again, reach out to those in need through service projects and open-air gospel presentations.
The plan is to leave June 30th to fly to Miami, Florida, where we will train for the pantomime gospel play, receive a light Spanish class, and get to know the others on our teams.
After spending 2 days in Miami, we will travel to Peru for the remaining 12 days of the trip where we will minister to the people of Lima and surrounding areas. When we arrive, we will be met by our translators and then board buses bound for the “El Pueblo Conference Center” just a few miles outside Lima proper. The remainder of that day will be spent resting and spending more time together with our team. Each night throughout the entire trip we will spend our evenings with worship, prayer, and presentations by well-known youth speakers.
After breakfast and devotions on the next day, teams will be sent out to perform at schools, parks, open-air markets, and neighborhoods. Occasionally, we will do a service project instead of the play.
Pray that we’ll have a spiritual impact on the people of Peru as in the past. Last year, more than 5,000 people expressed their desire to become Christians.
On this trip, as in the past, I hope that I can be a part of God’s work in someone’s life and lead them to Christ. I look forward to making new friends and reuniting with others from the past 2 years. I am also very excited that this year I will be able to put to good use some of the Spanish I have learned in school. Finally, I am eager to see how God will use this trip as a tool to mold me into the man that He wants me to be.
For the first time ever, I will have my own blog about the trip! So I will be able to let you know how God is providing funds before I leave. I will be able to update the blog in Peru and will be able to let you know what a day in Peru looks like.
My funding for this trip will be solely based on the financial help of those who are interested and financially able to be involved. I need to raise about $2,500 to cover mission costs, airfare, and the like. If you are able to contribute, all tax-deductible checks should be made out to, Big World Ventures, and sent to me at my home address by April 20th of this year (Sorry about getting this to you so late). Regardless of whether you can contribute I’d appreciate it if, you would pray for me and the team; health and safety at all times. And above all, that our outreach would have huge results.
In Him,
Rob Kirkpatrick II
I’m finally finding myself sitting with another brief moment of time to write. Actually, this has taken me almost a year to complete as I sat in airplanes during two separate business trips, or found a moment to be able to collect my thoughts. I’m sorry for the long silence. I’ve been wanting to send an update for months but have not been able to find the time or the energy. Today, however, I’ve got a window and I want to finish this.
I’ve struggled with how to write about what life is like for us. For me, there’s not a day–or even an hour–that goes by without a reminder that I’m a widower. I’m sure it’s also the same for my children as they deal with the constant reminders that, although their mom is in Heaven, she’s not here with us. This weekend is particularly significant because Monday would have been Lee’s and my 18th wedding anniversary.
I realize that sounds pretty intense. I don’t want you to think that we’re living with a grey cloud hovering over our heads. There are those times, to be sure; like the phantom pains experienced by those who have lost limbs. But, there are also some very sweet, sweet times.
One of those times occurred shortly before I first began drafting this letter. It was June of last year and we had just arrived back home after spending an enjoyable few days visiting family in Minnesota. As we got to our van from the airport terminal Jack announced, “Guess what? Mom was with us on in Minnesota because she’s in Heaven with God, and God is everywhere.” His words started a flood of emotions–completely out of nowhere. It was tender, sweet and sad, all at the same time.
I was instantly transported back to a conversation Lee and I had when it was becoming clear that she was going to die. She was telling me that she was afraid Jack wasn’t going to remember her because he was so young. The heartbreak in her voice was tangible.
So, there I was trying to drive home with tears in my eyes because Jack had, once again, shown that she didn’t need to fear. He does remember. We all do.
Experiences filled with sorrow and sweetness–together at the same time–are a regular part of our lives. They explode on the scene with no warning. I call them “Grace Bombs”. When ignited, I instantly want to writhe out of my circumstances. Yet, in the midst of that struggle I feel myself being held closely in God’s strong embrace. It’s just weird to have such conflicting feelings and thoughts coinciding. Truly, it’s the peace that passes understanding.
Those of you who have been praying for us take note: Your prayers are being answered.
Maggie often drops similar “Grace Bombs”. One day the five of us were at the mall sitting at a table in the food court. She looked up at me and with a tenderness in her voice that breaks your heart, said, “Whenever we sit somewhere where there are six chairs, I remember that mom is in Heaven with Jesus instead of here with us.” Pow!
There’s just no preparation for something like that. It’s overwhelming to simultaneously experience both extremes of emotion’s continuum.
I know many of you may have thought we dropped off the face of the earth. We haven’t. Life as a single father with four busy children is nearly exhausting. Yet, by God’s grace, I have no regret. He’s kept me from yielding to self-pity and bitterness.
The school year is two-thirds complete. Rob, Ben, Maggie and Jack are thriving at Evangelical Christian Academy. You’ll recall that we were blessed with many wonderful financial gifts sent to the school to cover our tuition costs; so much that there was still enough in the special account to cover almost 75% of this year’s bill.
I was a little nervous about using it all to pay for this school year because that would mean I’d need to bear the full load next year. So, I asked the school if I could use half of the money this year and save the second half for next year. They were fine with that, to my relief. I now have until the 2009/2010 school year before the full $17K-plus bill is all mine to bear. I’d appreciate your continued prayers about that.
Rob is a freshman in High School. He’ll turn 15 in a couple weeks. We almost look eye-to-eye! He’s played exceptionally (if I do say so, myself) on the JV soccer team–a fall sport in our community–and seems to be up to the challenge and rigors of 9th grade. Baseball, his other favorite sport is just beginning.
He had the chance to go to Peru again this summer with Focus on the Family’s Brio Mission trip. Some of you may be hearing from him as he’s preparing his support-raising letter. This is the same group he went with last year. Overall, it was another tremendously successful trip–over 7,000 people became Christians!
Ben is in 8th grade. He’ll be 14 in June, and is waiting eagerly for a growth spurt to catch up with his brother. He’s taken an interest in soccer, too. He played on the Jr. High team this year and has his first spring league game today.
He’s now at the rank of First Class in the Boys Scouts and was just elected leader for his patrol. Last summer he completed all the requirements necessary to earn the rank while attending camp in Idaho. On his way back he and his troop had the opportunity to spend a day and a half in Yellowstone National Park. Definitely a memorable summer.
Maggie’s in 3rd grade now. Her summer was spent learning how to sew. One of our good friends offered to have Maggie and another girl join her as she taught her own daughter some basic sewing techniques. Maggie completed a pair of pajamas and a skort! Guess what she got for her birthday? That’s right, a sewing machine!
Jack is enjoying life as a 1st grader which means he gets to be at school for the full day. Earlier in the year I asked him what he likes about being at school for a full day. His answer: “More recesses.”
I can’t believe he’s seven years old.
I’ll try not to ramble. Thanks, again, for your prayers. My life is full. I’m thankful for each day. I miss Lee. We all do.
Rob
Dear Friends,
I feel the need to start this update with an apology for having been so silent in the weeks since Lee’s home-going. I know many of you have sent e-mails and left messages which have gone unanswered. I haven’t been ignoring you. I just haven’t had a chance to sit down long enough to compose my thoughts—which have been whirring around like the contents of a blender inside my head. I know you understand. But, I still feel bad. The re-alignment of our lives has begun, but it’s still pretty bumpy.
Molly, thank you for the flowers!
Thank you, too, for your continuing prayers for us. I do feel them. As
we move away from the holidays and the busy-ness of the first weeks
back to school, the hole Lee’s death created in our family is now really showing. It’s painful for me. I believe it is for the children, too. Yet, I’m constantly aware of God’s presence. His peace is still tangible amidst everything else that’s going on. We are beginning the healing.
We took to California in mid-January with the Allens, our good friends. The trip was one that Lee and I were planning to do last year before everything fell apart. Jack was old enough to begin to really appreciate Disneyland, and Rob and Ben were still young enough that it wouldn’t have been un-cool to go there. After Lee died, I felt as though it was important for us to take that trip—and to do it soon.
Many of you are the ones who made that trip possible! I am deeply
grateful. I’m thankful, too, for Kevin and Beth Allen. Originally, I was planning on taking the trip alone—just me and the children. However, when Kevin helped me realize that I would be without adult interaction for 9 days I was greatly relieved that he offered to bring his family along. We had an absolutely marvelous time!
That trip along with the preceding holidays had a cathartic affect on us as we had something to think about besides missing Lee. Let me say that more accurately. We had something to think about in addition to missing Lee. There was no way we couldn’t think of how much we missed her—and still do. But, I think you know what I mean when I say having the additional events helped.
I’ve begun attending a GriefShare program at our church. It’s been
good to meet other widowers with young children. Just knowing I’m
not the only one has a great way of keeping me from feeling isolated.
Much of the program thus far has been dealing with the emotional
side of grief. I learned that, for many, anger is one of the strongest emotions that can appear; anger at God for taking away a loved one, or even anger at the person who’s passed away. Thankfully, that is a feeling I really don’t have. I would never have chosen this. I would never have asked to be a single parent. I’d never request that my children finish growing up without their mother. But, I’d also never clench my fist and accuse God of not having our best interests in mind. God is good. The Bible tells us that everything that passes our way does so with His knowledge. Everything will be redeemed. Romans 8:28 is true.
As the leader of the GriefShare workshop mentioned the other night: God only has a Plan “A”. He doesn’t need any alternatives because His plan is working out just as He intended. It’s a mystery to be sure. But it’s the truth. Just because I can’t understand it doesn’t make it untrue. And our healing will be helped as we come to grips with the fact that we’re not in charge.
I’m thankful that I am not feeling guilt or anger over Lee’s passing. I’m hurting to be sure. I’d sure appreciate your prayers. And, while you’re praying, would you mind asking our Heavenly Father to provide me with the wisdom and discernment I need to figure out how to manage all these plates spinning in the air?
So many of you have asked how you can help. I really don’t have an
answer to that question yet. I’m not unwilling to ask for help. I just don’t know where I need it. It’s wonderful feeling as though there is an army of friends standing ready to jump in wherever needed. It’s awkward not being able to tell them what they can do. We’re OK financially (Lee’s death benefit for the children from Social Security will cover nearly all of the costs of their schooling [what a major blessing that was!]). There’s food in the pantry. The hours where I need help caring for the children while I’m at work seem to be covered. I know I could use more help. I
just don’t yet know where.
Be patient. When I figure this out, I’ll let you know.
In the meantime, we yearn for the familiar. Yet, everything is different. We want what was. But know that what we now have isn’t bad.
God is with us and Lee is with Him. Oh, how I long for the day when
I can see her again.
Rob
Dear Friends and Family,
I wanted you to know how much we have been blessed as of today. Please read the e-mail below that was sent out to announce that the costs associated with Lee’s funeral have been fully covered! I’m even aware of an effort to help raise funds to help make possible the trip to California that we were planning for this year in order for Lee to show Maggie and Jack what the ocean looks like!
Can I just say that my cup—while cracked and gaping—is also overflowing?
I can feel your continued prayers for me and my family.
Bless you!
Rob
——————————————————————————–
From: Rob Bushway [mailto:rob@zoeinc.com]
Sent: Saturday, December 17, 2005 4:56 PM
To: Rob Bushway
Subject: Lee’s funeral expenses – PAID IN FULL
Kathi and I went to Rob Kirkpatrick’s house today to deliver your wonderful financial gifts, and I’m pleased to tell you that Lee’s funeral expenses and other related items are now paid in full (and then some) – only 5 days since Lee’s passing! What a wonderful testimony to how God uses His people in tangible ways to minister to each other.
As checks continue to come in that were mailed later this week, they will be used to help provide that extra layer of cushion that he and the kids will need, and remove an extra layer of stress.
If you were wanting to send in a check to help Rob and his family but have not yet done so, Rob has asked that any more donations be sent directly to ECA to help with the continuing education of his kids. You can include a note or post it to indicate that the money be used for the Kirkpatrick kids education fund.
The address for those donations go to:
Evangelical Christian Academy
4050 Nonchalant Circle S
Colorado Springs, CO 80917
Dear Friends,
Lee passed away peacefully in her sleep some time after midnight. She and is now healed, strong and with our Lord.
I’m envious.
Thank you all for your love and prayers. Please keep them going for me and for my children.
Comforted,
Rob Kirpatrick
Dear Friends,
Lee’s condition has grown progressively worse over the past few days. We’ve begun hospice care as we believe she will soon be passing into Heaven. I honestly don’t know when the time will come. It could be a matter of hours after I write this. It could be more than a day. But, I’m convinced that it will be inevitable. I’m also convinced that she’s comfortable.
I don’t know how many of you have ever been in a similar situation. In many ways it’s surreal. Yet, in others it’s very matter-of-fact. Thankfully, though, in all ways I’m aware of God’s presence and the peace that passes understanding that we’re promised in the book of Philippians. It’s real. It’s true. It’s tangible.
Some may be thinking that God is failing us. I know how diligent you all have been to be lifting Lee before Him in prayer and pleading for healing. I know how much you’ve brought my family before Him. Believe me when I say that I know you’ve been praying. God has truly been answering those prayers!
I am strong by His grace. We have been provided for in ways that have filled our cups to overflowing. People’s lives have been changed as they look upon what He’s done for us during these past months.
I believe our Heavenly Father is also answering our prayers for Lee. However, for her His answer will be in the form of a loving embrace as in Heaven she walks—healed—into the arms of our Lord. Lee’s been in a “win/win” from the beginning. I have to say that I think she’s won big through this.
For those of you who are saddened as I am that Lee’s win is our loss. I invite you to grieve with me. We have lost a beautiful, light-hearted, loving woman of God. There is a hole in my heart and in my family that you could drive a 747 through! All of our lives were touched in so many wonderful ways by Lee. She’ll never be replaced.
But, for those of us who are believers and understand our need for salvation through Jesus, we will see her again! And I, for one, can’t wait!! To be able to know with certainty not only where Lee will soon be, but where I will also be one day thrills my heart. I hope you all know that same thrill as we celebrate Christmas. For without Jesus there is nothing. If you don’t have that hope, please contact me. I’d love to be able to tell you how you can have it.
I’ll send another notice when Lee does pass away. Until then, please continue to remember me and my family as we await God’s provision for the next chapter in our lives. He is never safe, but He’s always faithful and He’s always good. It’s up to us to make sure we’re aligned with Him. And, by His grace, we will be.
Thankful for the ways you have each touched our lives,
Rob
I’m thrilled to report to you all that we’ve received news of a marvelous blessing regarding the school that our children began attending just a few weeks ago.
The tuition is paid in full!!
We learned yesterday that the amount needed to cover the expenses associated with this school year have been covered by the generosity of many of you! In fact, the school has begun directing the donations that continue to come into a fund to help with the next school year (2006-2007)!
Needless to say, we are thankful beyond what words can express. Each of our children have adapted quickly and easily from home school into the formal school environment. We received a progress report this week for Rob and Ben. They are both doing very well—a testament to their wonderful mother and all she’s done for them through the years. I expect to hear the same about Maggie and Jack.
Lee remains much the same as she was when I last wrote; sleeping late into the morning and then moderately able to handle the rest of the day. We thought she had begun to develop a form of fluid retention around her liver (called ascites) because there is some visible distention below her ribs. Disappointingly, when an ultrasound was performed it revealed that the distention is actually due to the size of her liver and the cancer inside. Thankfully, we’ve not seen any corresponding increase in pain as Lee is still able to keep her discomfort at bay with the medicines she’s had for the past 6 weeks.
We’ve begun an intermediate form of in-home hospice care called palliative care. This will allow an increase in the presence of medical care and attention for Lee without requiring that she travel back and forth to Dr. Young’s office. This will also allow Dr. Young to follow Lee more closely as the palliative care nurse and physician will report to him directly. Additionally, if Lee’s condition does worsen we’ll have already begun developing relationships with the ones who would be directly involved in ministering to Lee and the rest of us. And if her condition improves, we’ll simply discontinue the service.
I must tell you all that we have by no means given up hope for God’s Divine intervention. There is truly no reason for us to do so. I’ll admit, however, that it is strange to be in the position of making arrangements like palliative care while also remaining confident that God truly could turn things around. It’s like having one foot firmly planted in hope and the other in the realm of preparing for what would be the absolute last thing we’d want to occur.
You all must be praying because we are truly experiencing the peace that passes understanding that God promises us in Philippians 4:6f. There is no fear—most of the time. Really. I mean it. It’s wonderful and weird.
Thank you, again, for your prayers, words of encouragement, financial gifts to offset school costs and medical bills, gift cards to help with meals, greeting cards with expressions of love and care, acts of service, and hugs when there are no words. We have been truly uplifted by each of you acting as God’s hands carrying us through this storm.
Rob
Dearest Friends and Family,
This is a message I never wanted to have to send. Many of you will recall that we had “Black Thursday” back in May when we learned that the cancer had spread to Lee’s liver. Today, has been “Black Wednesday”.
The Erbitux is not working and the cancer is continuing to grow. Lee has anywhere from weeks to months before she’ll step foot on Heaven’s shore. We are grief-stricken and in shock. And yet, in some way that truly passes understanding, there’s peace, as well. You all must be praying!
As our oncologist explained, there are some other options that can be considered. Among them are: dumping chemotherapy drugs directly into the liver, radiating the liver, or heating the tumors. Each of these options—and the others that are within the realm of possibility—present high levels of risk for serious complications. We have to ask ourselves, “Is this how we want to spend our last days, weeks or months?” The answer to that is, “No”.
So, what have we chosen? There is one other chemotherapy drug called Xeloda. For those of you who want to learn more about this drug, you can learn more here http://www.xeloda.com/considering_xeloda/colon_cancer.asp
We’ve been told that this is a long-shot (as are the other options mentioned above), but there is little to no risk of serious complications. Lee will take this drug daily for two weeks, then take a week off before beginning again.
We haven’t given up hope.
It’s likely that we’ll begin in-home hospice assistance if the cancer progresses.
When we told our children, Rob and Ben were quite shaken. Maggie and Jack don’t really seem to understand, nor are they asking questions. Ben has been hit the hardest. Please pray that God would protect their hearts through this dark time in our lives.
On another note, we have only good things to report about school. Each of our children have adapted well to their respective classes and classmates. As I mentioned in my last update, the school, our church and several friends have begun discussing ways to minimize the financial hit on our family. We still don’t know what the financial impact of this transition will be. If you’d like to learn more about ECA, here’s a link to the website: http://ecaeagles.org/
I can’t express enough how much you have all meant to us—even those of you whom we’ve only known through a few, brief e-mail exchanges. Knowing that you’re out there and that you care about what’s happening and are praying for us means more than you can know.
Still waiting for a miracle,
Rob Kirkpatrick
